“Between stimulus and response there is space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies growth and freedom” Viktor Frankl
Being emotionally resilient is to be agile and flexible. It is the ability to make good, fully conscious decisions in the moment, instinctively and rationally. When we are at our most resilient, we can balance our emotions, and allow them to guide our decision making rather than controlling our response. Engaging head, heart and gut instinct, increases the resources available to us when making decisions and choosing our responses.
Different emotions affect people in different ways. If a long-term pattern of conflict between you and a colleague is reducing both your performance and reputation, emotional reactivity may be stopping you being the best version of yourself in the situation. If you are struggling to break the vicious cycle of anger or frustration at a situation or person, it could be time to look at emotional Resilience.
Training ourselves to look at the bigger picture is incredibly powerful and puts us back in the driving seat of our reactions. This helps us to assess a person’s action or behaviour in a neutral way. Take a moment to consider what lies behind the other persons behaviour? What emotions might they be experiencing and why? In any long-term relationship unhelpful patterns can easily build-up over time.
If you develop the capacity to notice your own patterns, you also notice the behaviour of others, and a new approach to resolving issues may present itself. Walking a mile in another’s shoes, combined with taking personal responsibility for your own role in a dynamic is a powerful way to allow both parties to move on and resolve long-term conflict
The happiness industry encourages us to change our thoughts in order to face challenges, with the belief everything will be OK. This can lead to living life passively, hoping things will turn out OK rather than acting to shape our own future.
The workplace is filled with all sorts of people, personalities and emotions. A good way to begin is to be more aware of yourself in that space between stimuli and response, to deal with a challenging situation in a more Resilient way ask yourself;
- Is this going to overcome the situation?
- What will it do to my energy and resilience?
- How might it take my focus away from what is important and deplete my energy?
- Will it be a longer conversation if it is emotionally charged and how will that impact the other person?
In today’s world, technology is constantly being upgraded, yet our bodies have not had an upgrade since pre-historic times and as a result, instinct still controls our responses. It is however possible to evolve our interaction with people using emotional self-awareness to keep things more balanced. In turn this frees up our energy and head space to perform at our resilient best.
If you would like to know more about what Resilience Coaching covers please contact Julie on julie@theresilienceformula.co.uk or call 0787 251 7109.